Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Self reflection whilst walking through fire

I need to say something to those who read this blog. Those who I know read and those who "blog stalk" (for whatever reason). Know I say it all with love and hope that it might help you. Also know that I am reluctant to publish this for the world to see, but keep getting a "nudge" to let others read what I have to say. And I am going to act on the nudge before it becomes a shove (for once).

Have you ever hear the song from "Into the Woods" titled "No One is Alone"?
I love that show. So many lessons. Let me focus on just a few.

We've had a rough few month emotionally. Rough. Sambo has dealt with some hurt. I've dealt with some hurt. We've learned to protect our hearts more closely and to circle the wagons a bit more. Some of our faith in the goodness of others has been lost.


That isn't the point. That is beginning of the road that we've been walking. And I want to talk about where we are on that road right now (let me add that this road appears to have no end, and a multitude of twists and turns with a few mountains sprinkled in there).

There are a few specific lyrics of the aforementioned song  I would like to point out:

 You move just a finger,
Say the slightest word,
Somethings bound to linger
Be heard
No acts alone.
No one is alone.

 Isn't this a lesson all of us learn over and over again? Sometimes our mistakes, our attitudes, our moments of speaking before thinking come back to haunt us.
Our words, actions... they leave marks on others. For better or for worse.
This has been heavy on my mind for months now. I look at others, their uplifting actions towards others and the consequences. I look at others, their hurtful actions towards others and those consequences. I look within myself and see how my good and poor choices linger. I see how others outside of my immediate actions perceive them. Wow.
Everything we put out into this world stays with us for a very long time. I've asked myself a lot, what am I putting out there? Am I improving the world? What about the company I keep? How is that bettering me? Or is it?  And, what do I do about it?
A lot to take in. Because our words, our WORKS don't affect us alone.

 People make mistakes.
People make mistakes,
Holding to their own,
Thinking they're alone.
Honor their mistakes
 Everybody makes
Fight for their mistakes
One another's terrible mistakes.
Witches can be right, Giants can be good.
You decide what's right you decide what's good

This part. Wow.
We are all so flawed. I am so very flawed. I make mistakes so much and at times I am so discouraged. But, here is the silver lining that I am finding myself clinging to these days... my mistakes can be that anchor that weighs me down. Or... they can be the wind in my sails moving me onward and if I choose, to a better place.
We have to honor and respect our mistakes, and the mistakes of others around us. When others hurt us, we can hold on to that anger... hold that grudge. It is so very easy to do. Or, OR, we can take that pain both forced upon us by others' AND self-inflicted and we can honor it, create beauty from it.

We can call those who hurt us witches and giants... isn't that so easy to do? They were mean, they are horrible.
But... what if they are right?
What if their rebuke is intended to better us?
What if it isn't intended to do anything but hurt us, BUT they have a point?
It is time to look beyond the presentation of the information and to see when our witches are right. And ask ourselves when we speak, when we act (to plagarize another show), "are we a good witch or a bad witch?"

Forgiveness is such a wonderful thing. It is a gift given to us, a gift we give to others and a gift we give to ourselves. Forgiveness takes our anchor and cuts that chain clean away... leaving it behind us as we travel through life. Forgiveness is not forgetfulness. It is not giving someone else or ourselves a pass to repeat a hurt, but it gives us a chance to show a compassion for others that we all hope would be extended to us. So importantly, forgiveness keeps us from being alone. Oh how I wish I had learned how to freely forgive years ago! Such a simple lesson when we take our fingers out of our ears and listen to it.

Friends, I don't know all of you. But I tell you this hoping you will believe me and take this to heart.
Life is so short.
We are all so flawed.
I am so flawed. I'm short. I'm loud. I'm brassy and have a strange affection for cussing. I eat junk food late at night. I watch too much tv. I don't always brush my teeth before I go to sleep. I rarely wear make up and I am a dreadful housekeeper. I'm weird, very weird. But, I'm me and overall I really adore me. I'm trying to improve every day. But I'm also trying to remember to love myself (warts and all) more each day because I can't love you otherwise. I'll never do everything exactly right and there will always be room for others to criticize, mock and even hate me. But here is the thing: I don't have to let that mold how I act, who I am. Just as my detractors are not alone, I am not alone. You are not alone. You are loved. You are good and you have the power to be more tomorrow than you are today.

Tomorrow is a new day. An opportunity to take your little pocket of the world and make it better. To forgive long ago or recent slights, to atone for (and then let go of) past sins. We are blessed to be able to evolve and to stand a little taller.

Forgive others. Let go of injustices and accept what you cannot change. Forgive yourself and LOVE yourself because you are pretty wonderful just as you are. You're never going to be perfect and you're going to screw up again (in case you were wondering).
But here's the deal: life is like sitting in a leaky rowboat. We're all in our own boat with it's own holes. We can use our buckets to scoop water out of our boat and dump into others. We can use it to just keep outselves afloat. Or we can help others stay afloat when they are sinking too fast and know that others will return that favor to us.

 Thanks for reading. Thanks in advance for elightening me with your thoughts too. This includes my silent readers.


  1. Silent reader checking in. ;-)

    Powerful post, Kimber. Thanks for putting aside your reservations and writing this. ((hugs))

  2. Thanks Kimber! I needed this! I hope everything will get better for you guys! You have such a hard shell, but you're pretty squishy inside! Many hugs!

  3. Nice post. Me likey the boat analogy... not so much the music. Sorry, I just never got the drama music thing. :D
    Anyway, it all made me think of this book I read a couple years back that I REALLY liked at the time (and have since forgotten all the lessons I learned and thus should reread it), called The Four Agreements. Maybe I'll get you a copy of it for Christmas or something since I have no intention of giving you back your Gift of Fear book (cuz I liked it).
    Anyway, four agreements are explained from the authors website as such:

    1. Be Impeccable With Your Word.
    Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

    2. Don't Take Anything Personally
    Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

    3. Don't Make Assumptions
    Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

    4. Always Do Your Best
    Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

  4. Amen! Thanks for your thoughts Kimber. You are a great writer and have a way of expressing yourself that I'm jealous of. By the way, I rarely wear makeup, don't always brush my teeth, watch too much tv but hey, I like myself also.

  5. Wow. I really needed to hear this this morning. Thanks for posting it.

  6. Very appropriate for today. I'm sad for the people of Jefferson County that have been influenced by a few vocals that don't realize that bad behavior and intent reflects on them much more than on the ones they are attacking. What a great life lesson that too many never learn. Thanks Kimber for your insight.