Where the crap is my flying car?!
Honestly, what a wonderful year. Sambo and I were talking about it this morning as we hid from the kids while they ate breakfast (I know, bad Mommy and Daddy, but we needed some adult conversation so badly!). This year has been eventful, to be certain. A few events could be construed as negative I suppose. However, we really can't say that anything was negative because every mountain we have had to climb this year has given us
1. the strength to tackle bigger mountains
2. a fantastic view of where we were.
I took some time to review my resolutions last year (see them HERE) and I have to say that I did pretty decent. My status on each one:
1. Quit thinking the world revolves around me.
That was more of a "quit finding offense where none is given" and a "quit thinking people are critiquing my every move".
I discovered my piano students helped me the most to actualize the latter thought there. My students would worry about making a mistake at recital and I kept telling them that no one is staring at their music and noting every mistake... most people are too worried about how they will do when it is their turn to play. And IF someone is petty enough to pick apart all their mistakes... well that person obviously needs a hobby.
Apply that to our every day lives. What a freeing realization! Truly!
Also, on taking offense... I have a plaque on the wall that I love. It says: Be too big to take offense and too little to give it. That quote has been vital to me. I found myself in a lot of situations where it was so easy to take things personally and honestly I think sometimes people meant things personally, but that is where another HUGE lesson that I never meant to learn came into play about understanding others and forgiveness.
Read that lesson here HERE.
I think it was the best moment of the year for our family in a personal growth way.
I love this quote also, "Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much." (Oscar Wilde) Not that I want to go out of my way to annoy others, but if I need that push to start the process to forgive, well I'll take it.
2. Be more ME... uncensored.
Yes, truly accomplished that. This year was a year to stop being polite and do what is right for me (okay, but still attempt to follow basic social mores). That meant letting going of some toxic friendships, refusing to add more obligations to my schedule that I just couldn't do and making choices that certainly didn't get me voted Prom Queen, but that I could sleep at night having made. It meant being honest with myself and putting my family first (see my business sale HERE). It meant saying what I thought and doggedly refusing to let things go.
On that note... perseverance really should be my middle name. I hope I've earned it.
The end of this year brought a very validating moment when a person in a position of leadership at church listened to some serious safety concerns I have had and have been fighting to change for years now... and that person saw the truth in what I was saying and is helping to improve and change things! That was a weight I have been lugging with me every Sunday for years and now it is so much lighter. And I felt so good at the end. It is hard to stand up for a belief, to be YOU and not back down because people tell you to stop rocking the boat; to let things go. But sometimes we must look within and determine WHY we are rocking that boat (if it is for the right reasons, if we are correct, if there is a better way to do things etc) and then either adapt or rock away.
It is easier to just sit back and not make waves and this year I felt that overwhelming urge to do just that on a regular basis. It was hard in several situations to persevere in what I knew was right and honor this resolution. I credit Sam with keeping me from crawling under a rock and giving up. He saw me cry so many times, swear and kick things and try to throw in the towel. But every time he would chew me out (in a much needed way, promise), tell me I was awesome and right and that the world (community, city, congregation) needed me to stand up and be unafraid. I know I would have failed at this resolution without HIS perseverance.
My favorite quote at this stage in my life, "Be the change you want to see in the world," Mahatma Gandi. I actually think that thought to myself every morning before I get going for the day. I've decided that while I'm just one girl... just one girl CAN change the world. If more "just one girls" would stand up, be themselves and be the change this world would improve immediately. I know my world did this year.
3. Attempt to defug myself.
(definition of fug: frigging ugly= fugly) I did work on this one, promise! I have been growing out my hair again so I can donate it again, I had a ton of fun with colors (but now I am back to normal), I lost all the baby weight (at long last) and got back into my size 2 jeans without holding my breath. I forced myself to wear more fitted clothing and I did my hair more often. I did not wear much make up, but frankly I like how I look without it and I don't need to be a model, I'm pretty enough just being me. I think that was more the point of attempting to defug. I don't know that I was fugly to begin with, I just needed to feel better in my skin. I do.
So, 2009 resolutions... I feel good about them. I believe they will always be things I work on, but I'm good with that.
As for 2010, well I have only one goal. And it is only one word. And I believe it will be the biggest resolution I have ever tackled:
I plan on accomplishing it.
I hope 2009 was fantastic for you and 2010 will be even better. Thanks for the friendship, advice and commiserating. Looking forward to more this year.