Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Just Hold the Baby

Here it is.

The first big parenting test.
Oz is just over 5 weeks and has reached that time when babies have an hour or 10 that they are really really really fussy during.
Buddy had 23 out of 24 hours. Xander had about 5 out of 24 hours. Belle... oh who am I kidding, that girl fussed and I pulled out a camera and she was all sorts of happy.
Oz only has about 2 fussy hours a day.
Unfortunately for me they always hit right when I am getting us settled for bed.

I've tried everything for when this happens. Feeding him, burping him, rubbing his back and tummy, new clothes, new diapers, different diapers, more feeding, bouncing, singing, white noise, walking, talking, giving him to daddy... everything.
But the boy just needs to cry.

I remember being so frustrated when Buddy would scream and scream. I remember the same feelings of helplessness with X.
But this time I was ready for whatever Oz had up his sleeve.

The first time he went into his super fussy inconsolable state I pulled out my weapon of choice: a baby carrier.

In the boy went and I started walking the floors of the house in a particular bouncey, rocky walk I perfected with Buddy many moons ago.

The tension in the boy slowly eases and in a few minutes he is asleep. Or at least heading that way. I keep on moving and he finally lets go. Then we have a good night's rest.

We've been doing this a few days ago and I'm realizing a few things.

1. I'm getting better at this. With Buddy I would get so frustrated and I'd have to remind myself over and over that I would someday miss these moments and want to be able to just rock a crying baby again. I improved with Xander but still got frustrated. With Oz, I've been waiting for this and skip over the build up of frustration and go straight to cherishing these moments that will be gone all too fast.

2. I have my magic feather. Yep, I'm just like Dumbo. I doubt the slings have magic dust on them (I tend to use a different carrier each time just so see though) but I know my way around a carrier, I have confidence in them and in my skill using them and I think that probably soothes Oz more than the carrier itself. Though it does free up my hands to do things like type a blog post at midnight while Ozzy sleeps on my chest. Every parent needs a magic feather of some sort in my opinion. We need the confidence.

3. Babies just need love.
Being held close and comforted when they are inconsolable appears to always be the answer (unless of course they are hungry or poopy, then all bets are off of course).
I am so confused and disheartened by parents to take a crying babe and toss them into a crib to scream until they give up and stop.
Don't get me wrong, if a parent is so frustrated they put the baby down and walk away in order to keep everyone safe then I want to pat that parent on the back for knowing when they need a time out.
But this insanity of letting a kid cry all alone without anyone to comfort them... how does that make sense? When you are crying, do you want someone to shut you in a room all alone and leave you to sob? Or would you rather be comforted when you are hurting for whatever reason?
So why would we think it is a good idea to make our babies tough it out?
Perhaps that is part of what is wrong with this world. Not enough love.
I'm not saying I'm mother of the year, because I'm not. I suck it up many times a day. But I know one important thing that I'll never let go of: Little ones need more love from their family. And when they aren't so little they will know they are loved and carry on that legacy. I want that to be my family's tradition.

So here I am. Sitting in front of the computer with a baby tied to my chest.

It has been a rough day. The van needs a few hundred dollars of repairs (nothing huge, but necessary), we had a lot of stress on our apartment managing job today, I had a few new piano students today (great news, but I always get a little stressed when I'm meeting new students) and Sam broke a tooth while eating a pizza and it is not pretty. Seriously.

Not a perfect day. And it ended with a baby boy who was saying exactly what I felt all day long.
But I look down on him now and know all is well.

Oz is snoring and I get the feeling we are about ready to climb into bed and have a nice long sleep.
I'll give him a few minutes more, just in case.
Besides, what can it hurt to just hold the baby?
This too shall pass. Too quickly.
Moments like this I just want to pinch myself. How did I luck into the life I have? I have no idea, but I am so glad I did.
Ooops, the boy is starting to stir. Time to rock some more.

Good night.

While trying to stay awake I took a few pics of tonight's adventure. Don't be jealous of my fuzzy blue robe.

Ozzy likes it when I hold the back of his head when he is upset. Also, he likes to feel me breathing. I hav eno idea why but it calms him down so I do it.

Look at that sleeping boy. I love him. Even when I'm sleepy too.


  1. What a beautiful post! LOVE the pictures!

  2. He's so sweet, Kimber. And lucky to have you.

    Just how does one break one's tooth while eating pizza?

  3. You are an awesome Moma Kimber! Keep doing what you do and letting others know. Some parents have a hard time because they see their imperfections and only see other's "perfect" parenting. It's nice for people to see that parenting is a journey and not necessarily a destination! <3