Friday, November 11, 2011

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 10

Thankful for Thurs the 10th: While I am thankful for my friends I am also very thankful for those who consider themselves my anti-friends (or enemies if we want to be boring about it). You teach me new lessons on how to love and respect others daily, you challenge my beliefs about myself and the world and you keep me motivated to better myself every second of every day.You also humble me when I get too big for my britches and remind me that nothing good comes from holding a grudge. Thank you for helping me whether it is your intent or not. I am grateful.
 You know, one of the best things that ever happened to me was finding out people don't always like me. I remember how at first that realization really hurts and I was upset. I felt like I had something to prove and I obsessed over what was wrong with that person who didn't like me. That obsession eventually turned to an inner quest to sort out what was wrong with ME that would make someone not like me. Of course that led to alot of contemplation and eventually a purging of the qualities in me I didn't find favorable and the honing of the ones I adored.
Over more time I have realized something important: Not everyone is going to like me (or you). It is just impossible to shoot for that goal because the fact is, we are all human and will annoy someone whether we want to or not. It is also impossible because even if we are super awesome and shoot double rainbows out of our fingertips, some people are just jerkwads who are in an especially jerkity place and they can't like double rainbow shooters. The there are people who aren't exactly jerkwads, but they are in a rough place in their own personal journey and they may have jealousy issues or self esteem issues and instead of being brave enough to look within and purge the yuck they see, it is easier to look outward and focus on someone to hate and find flaws in that person. I get it. I've done it. I can respect the process.
I have spent a lot of time this year trying to focus on showing love to those who are my friends and family and also those who I know don't like me. It has been a wonderful feeling to realize that I can be kind to others because their behavior doesn't need to dictate mine. It has been such a blessing to be able to look on people with new eyes and see them not as a person who was mean to me or someone I love once, but to see them as a person deserving of love and compassion and being able to express that towards them. Sometimes it gets thrown in my face, but that is okay too. Their rejection isn't a reflection of me as a person, it is just a reflection of how they feel about themselves.
Some of our greatest teachers are people who don't like us. I feel lucky to have such wonderful instructors. I am also grateful for them because it helps me to appreciate people who love me too. The funny thing is that while I get bummed when I try to befriend someone and they choose not to reciprocate the love, I don't take it personally anymore. I mean, it really isn't my problem if someone doesn't want to be my friend. They'll come around one day, most people do. If they don't, well, they'll just miss out, but that is okay too.
Anyhow, I'm grateful for the lessons I learn every day from those who are not my near and dear. I need them to keep me from getting all uppity because you know, short girls have a problem with that.  

1 comment:

  1. This is important stuff and a great way of thinking about it. Thanks for sharing.