Okay, here is the deal. The first part of this post is going to be happy and fun blah blah blah.
I may get a little ranty at the end so feel free to skip that part and focus on the happy.
This past week was National Police Week!
Since we have a new chief, I decided to be brave and ask for permission to set up a schedule to bring treats in to the officers. Our chief was nice enough to say yes.
I volunteered to go first.
I got of early Monday morning and made 7 chocolate chip cookie pies for each of our officers.
The kids wrote cards to each officer and I left a little note.
I decided to be silly and I put their call signs on each pie with chocolate chips.
It was a lot of fun and I am really happy we did it. I hope our chief allows us to do it again next year.
Now, I need to let off some steam.
I'm a bit negative on law enforcement stuff right now.
By a bit, I mean, a lot. I mean, I need to get over it because I'm driving Sam nuts.
Let me just blurt it all out.
I found out the former chief's wife HATED me. Multiple sources have told me this now and I feel so bad about it. I really admired her and I thought she and I were friends. I have no idea what I did to offend her and that is the worst feeling ever.
I'm totally out of my element right now with Sam's job. I'm trying really hard to be positive, but I'm failing spectacularly. I'm frustrated because when Sam was detective it sometimes felt like he was the whipping boy of that department and he was constantly refused vacation, then ordered to go on vacation when it wasn't really convenient for him. He worked all the time and he covered everyone's shifts all the time and he was expected to keep up on his detective load. Then he was getting these left handed compliments all the time and it seemed like there were constant mind games going on and it was just frustrating sometimes.
I know Sam is a good guy because he is trying to make sure other officers don't have to do their job that way so he is being really nice about vacation and making sure they don't get worked constantly and all that, but... I wish people would appreciate how he is treating them and their family better than we received and how that is actually a bit of a sacrifice for our family because he has been the one compensating and we have been the ones who get ditched.
Instead, what little I've heard has been how "easy" the new schedules are and how "easy" the job is. I kind of want to stomp my foot and scream, "it is easy because Sam is making sure it is easier for you than it was for him!"
I realize that is petty of me. So petty.
I feel really guilty about it.
I think I'm saying that I married a really good guy and I need to be a better person. I feel like I'm one of our kids who stomp around the house shouting, "it isn't fair! Make it fair!" over this nonsense.
I should be grateful that things are easier for others than it was for us because it was HARD for us.
I think I'm also just a bit mad/sad because things are really great at Sam's work right now and we have such a good chief, but I'm upset that the former chief's wife hated me so much and never bothered to tell me. How do you air things out if you don't talk to someone? Part of me wants to track her down and make nice, but I wouldn't know where to begin because I have no clue what I did. I need to let go of someone else's problem for starters and I need to focus on how good things are at the pd right now.
Of course, then I get all upset because last week the local chamber of commerce was asked to donate a small gift to our 7 officers and their response was basically, "we don't see how that actually helps our community."
That hurts my heart.
This may seem like a quiet town and it is in a lot of ways because of these officers. They take care of the ugliness so we don't have to see it.
They are a small department so many of them work sick, through family events and are subject to call outs pretty much all the time.
The pay isn't the highest in the state. It isn't around the median either. It is on the low side.
But, they are here for the most part because they want to serve others.
How wouldn't it help a community to thank their officers once in awhile?
Seriously bums me out.
Okay, I said things. Some of those things have been weighing me down for nearly 5 months. Please don't read anything more into it than a girl who just needed to say what she felt so she could let go of that burden and move on. I'll probably delete this after a few hours because I don't want to ruin everyone else's day, but thank you for letting me get all my feel bads out in the open.