Wednesday, August 22, 2012

We have failed as parents: Bathroom Edition

Oh my goodness, the boys are going to be the death of me. I am actually starting to think they are trained assassins who have been contracted to slowly stress me to death.

It is that or Sam and I really suck at teaching our boys what a toilet is.

So, check it out. We were driving to Heise the other day to retrieve something Sam left at the zip line (he LOVES his new side job and I love that he loves it!) and I mentioned how I wanted to rearrange my basement for an upcoming Activity Days (my church job with the girls that is awesomesauce, remember?). We'd been having issues with a funky smell down there which has worried me to no end over the past month and so far we hadn't found the source. I mentioned I thought there was a dead mouse behind some of our food storage and I had pinpointed the area by some buckets so we decided to start moving things there.

Right then Isabelle interrupted us. She said (oh so casually), "Oh, I know what smells bad. It is the pee bucket."

Sam and I both were all, the what now?

She said, "yeah, the pee bucket. When Buddy and Xander play the wii and they don't want to stop to pee, they just pee in one of your food storage buckets while they play."

Silence. Long silence.

Then Sam and I just laugh and laugh and laugh because seriously, what can you do when you're in a car driving on a winding highway and you just found out your boys don't want to travel the 10 feet to one of THREE toilets in your house to pee because Lego Batman is just too awesome? You drive off the highway into the abyss below or you laugh. We chose the latter.

Then we ignored it for the night because it was just too much to think about. (I still have questions as to why Isabelle didn't think to bring this to our attention sooner, but you know, I just can't think that hard about the entire thing.)

But, this morning we knew it was time to take on the pee bucket.

Sweet mother of all that is holy. No wonder the basement stunk! They really were peeing in a bucket and boy can those two pee!

Sam and I cleaned it all up, checked the surrounding areas for pee (we did not use a black light, I just don't have it in me to know for sure) then Sam scrubbed down the entire area with every cleaning tool he could think of.

Finally, it was clean.

Our basement smells good again. Yes, we are pee free.

We rearranged the furniture.

Then, Sam reviewed with each boy what a toilet was and why we use it.

There won't be any unsupervised wii time for the boys for awhile... we are too afraid it will become wii wii time if we leave them alone.

I love my boys but honestly, if Cinco is another boy I may have to return him. (I'm kidding! Mostly.)

People, God has given me these boys to keep me humble. And maybe to send me to my grave early. I can't be certain on that.


  1. So, I laughed all the way through your blog and then I got to the end and read about Cinco and I forgot all about the pee bucket because HELLO! I didn't know about Cinco!!! I'm so excited to read that there is going to be another Tower tot joining your fam! <3 Congrats!!! And, um, I can totally feel ya on the pee bucket. I have five boys. Finding unique places to pee is like, a sport or something. Gag.

  2. I am amused, grossed out, and proud of you for posting this. Haha.
    congrats. If you don't get a Cordelia, I wish you a fred.

  3. Yay! Everyone needs a Cinco in their life. Conga-rats!

  4. My brother did this with his orange Halloween jack-o-lantern trick-or-treat bucket in his room because he was too lazy to go across the hall to the bathroom. EWWWWW!