Sunday, March 24, 2013

Waking Two Sleeping Babies is Like Starting a Zombie Apocalypse...

It is true. How?

Think about it.

Waking two babies is just like starting the zombie apocalypse. Yes, it will be entertaining, but sooner (rather than later) someone is getting bitten in the face.

That is why I am sitting here blogging instead of hustling the herd to church.

Let me tell you about my day. I woke up to Buddy asking me if he could start breakfast. We have a new rule that the kids can't wake me up to ask that until our designated time, usually 7:30am. I checked the time and it was nearly 8am, so he was good to go. I asked him if he had done his morning chores (make bed, get dressed and put away pjs) and he gave me his "whoops" look and trotted off to do them. I roll out of bed and Ozzy wakes up and comes with me but Henry decides to doze a bit longer. Perfect.

I make oatmeal for the herd and we have a mellow breakfast.

Then I start the marathon that is baths/showers before church. I am on my own today for church so I decided to go slow and planned on a few hiccups.

First hiccup: I get Henry in the tub, wash his hair, get him all relaxed... and he poops all over me and all over the bath water. I was going to use that water to bathe Ozzy and Xander next, but no biggie! I just rinse Henry back off, drain the tub and we do showers for everyone instead. No biggie.

Then I need to wash my hair.

Second hiccup: Henry is having none of that not being held constantly nonsense. Okay, I can deal with it. Pretty updo with the hair and extra deodorant and a vow not to run any laps at church. Besides, most people at church figure we're a bunch of hippies so if I miss a shower it shouldn't be a huge shock to any of them.

Now we all have our church clothes on or ready to put on, hair styled and it is time for lunch. I gave us a huuuuuuge window so I could feed Henry and the kids and still get the church bag ready.

Everything is going good and we are way ahead of schedule and then...

Hiccup the third: Ozzy decides he is cranky and won't eat. Crap. He's going all toddler Hulk on me. This means we need to save the situation with a nap immediately. Ugh. If he falls asleep now I will either infuriate him when I wake him in a half hour for church or we will be late for church. I don't like either option.

Then I think about how my sleep deprived Oz does at church. It is not enjoyable for anyone, particularly the nursery workers who have to deal with him. Sigh. Better to be late than have a kid we need to exorcise.

So, I set Oz down on the bed and BOTH he and Henry fall asleep happily.

Waking one kiddo is dangerous, but two? Yep, zombie apocalypse.

That leaves me here, debating being even later, or a maiming from an angry Little.

I do hate being late, but honestly, life is too short and babyhood is way too short to get all upset over tardiness when I did my best to get us out the door on time and 2/5 of my crew are just too tired to leave right now. I just can't get upset when I know in a few years or even months or even weeks I won't have a newborn who falls asleep and eats in a constant cycle and Oz won't need that nap or I will figure out how to get him to take it an hour sooner in the day. God knows I want to be at church, but I think he knows I want to be sane and I want everyone at church to be sane too.

Yep, gonna be late today.

Sorry zombies, maybe another time.

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