Sunday, April 14, 2013

The Bathtub is not a Swimming Pool

I need a bubble wrap suit for Xander.

The other night I had the big boys get in the tub while I went down the stairs to put the babies to bed. The tub is directly over my bathroom so I can hear everything above me. I was brushing my teeth when I heard the following:

(Muffled voices)
Xander: Cannonball! (Giant THUMP and a splash and some sliding noises.)

(Both boys cheer)
Xander: Cannonball! (Giant Thump and a splash and some sliding noises.)
(Both boys cheer again)
Xander: One more time, with a twist!
(I run and grab the intercom phone because it is faster than running up the stairs)

Me: Isabelle, get the boys out of the tub now!

(Running feet, muffled conversation and groaning from boys)

A few minutes later Xander comes downstairs.

Me: So, what were you doing?

Xander: Oh nothing, just standing on the edge of the tub and jumping in like you do at a
swimming pool.

Me: (As calmly as possible) Sweetie, the tub isn't a swimming pool. That can break the tub or make a big splash and hurt my floors in my bathroom. You could get hurt too. What do you think could happen?

Xander: Well, I could slip and break my ankle or my leg or my arm or I could split something open and bleed all over and die.

Me: Okay, you have thought this over. So, why do it?

Xander: Because it's awesome, mom!

I feel this is an appropriate time to request that anyone who ever gets Xander a present at any point in his life should just give him gift certificates to local hospitals and/or first aid supplies. Please.

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