Saturday, August 31, 2013

A G&T Kid's Mom's Lament (wow, bad grammar)

You are welcome to roll your eyes at this post. You can think I'm being a braggy, braggety bragger, but really I'm not. I just have a different type of challenge than you may have.

My kids are too smart.

I am honestly at a loss some days. They are funny and clever and creative and utterly exhausting every. single. day. They feel everything with all their hearts, they are constantly asking questions and coming up with new ideas and they challenge ideas about this world all the time.

I understand all too well how hard things are for them because they are smart. I was gifted in school too. Sam should have been in a gifted program (I don't say that just because I'm married to him, I say it because I know what kind of trouble he got into in high school and they were screaming signals that he was bored and needed something more out of his education.).

I remember doing dumb stuff when I was a teen just because I wanted to test out theories and frankly, because I was so over school. If a virtual school had been an option then or some other mastery based program it would have been ideal for me. I remember ditching school so I could do wild and crazy stuff like, oh, go home and read or play piano at the seminary building (such a rebel) and then forging my mom's signature on notes excusing my absence. Yes, I did get in a lot of trouble for that. I remember someone saying when they take a panoramic picture if you give the one finger salute really quick it will show up in the picture. I didn't believe them so guess what I did in our Senior panoramic picture? Whoops.

(Of course, that one will always stick with me because some anonymous person sent a copy of that picture and a note that said, "thanks for ruining this" or something like that.
 Dear person who didn't have the guts to just call me out in person like I deserved,
You are right, that was lame of me. What can I say, I was 18 and pretty stupid. However, you are a bit of a coward. If you ever read this, I hope you can build up the lady guts... yep, I think you are a girl based on your handwriting... to actually tell me you wrote that. I would love to apologize to you personally. However, you should know I don't have a ton of respect for people who can't just tell someone they have been offended in person. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that you were also 17-18 and maybe a little scared of how I would react. That is fair. But still, woman up and let me apologize in person. Or, keep being offended if it helps you sleep at night. Your call.
Kimber--- incidentally, I still give the one finger salute, though rarely in pictures. Mostly just when I drive past Sam in the police car and yes, he finds that funny. I'm a grown up, wheeeeeee!)

Okay, enough reliving my ridiculousness of years past. The point is, I was smart, understimulated and crazy bored. So, I did dumb stuff.

My kids do some dumb stuff too sometimes and I am currently struggling with how to harness their cleverness into things that don't freak me out/make a mess/have the potential to maim or kill one of us.

Take today. Here is a smattering of things the kids said/did:

*We went to a park and they immediately found a posse of friends and joined their gang (Buddy established rank rather quickly) and played and played until I pried them away. I know all kids make friends, but mine go introduce themselves, find the parents and meet them too, learn all about the kids and then talk about them for the next two years. It is nuts. Also, the way Buddy and Belle dominate makes me crazy!

*They practically taught a mini class on snakes at the zoo while the poor volunteer was trying to talk. They knew all the stuff she said and then expounded on it ad nauseum. I had to pry them away so she could teach the other kids who were there.

*I sent them out to clean the car and I come out just in time to see Xander skittering like a crazed monkey all across the top of Angelina Jolie the minivan! When I told him to get down, he was planning to leap off but I got him to climb down semi-carefully.

*Xander also decided that when he dies he would rather not be buried. He wants to be preserved and turned into a Halloween lawn decoration. He is totally serious.

*Buddy was curious what would happen if you mixed two different cleaners (one was ammonia based and the other bleach based) in the toilet and then peed on it. Sam and I made the critical mistake of only half listening to what he was saying, so he decided to just go test it out. And then he made mustard gas in the toilet. (Sam says it was cyanide gas of something, I don't know, I wasn't paying attention to the technical terms, I just know it was bad gas.) Of course he then had to pee in it because he was hoping for an explosion. That did not occur so he did flush it as all the kids started coughing. Then he was freaked out at what he did. Sigh.

That last one is the big thing. They talk talk talk and go go go and I get tired after hours of answering questions and watching and trying to keep up and when I go into autopilot for a bit to get a break, someone inevitably makes mustard gas in the toilet!

I adore these kids. I do. I really and truly do. But, having a house full of kids who are pretty clever in certain ways (and less so in others), who want to figure out the entire world and who never sleep (Isabelle, if it is after 10pm and you are reading this, remember, I NEED TO GO TO BED AND I'M WAITING ON YOU! GO TO SLEEP AND YES, I AM TYPE/YELLING RIGHT NOW! I AM THAT TIRED! I LOVE YOU.) is exhausting and sometimes a little scary.

I'm not really asking for advice or sympathy or anything because honestly, I would not change it if I could. I'm just hoping I can find a way to be up to the task a little more. I'm also hoping they will choose to channel their energy and excitement and curiosity into their studies this year so we can all get through school alive. Oh, that would be lovely.

You know how your mom tells you they hope you have a kid just like you when you grow up? I get that now. I must have been exhausting. Sam had to be exhausting too.

Now, remember, don't make mustard gas in the toilet. Seriously. Or flip off panoramic pictures. Neither end well. Though both are a little funny after the fact. Won't lie.

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