I can't believe I did it. Even now I keep doubting myself and thinking I'm dumb and I did the math wrong, but then I stand up and try to walk around and I am sore and tired and I know that I did it.
I ran a half marathon today. 13.1 miles.
I'm not going to tell you a long story (who are we kidding, yes I am), but just know I've been having a long and ridiculous battle with myself for a few weeks now about running this half marathon. I wanted to do it, I was scared to do it, I felt like I needed to do it and I finally just decided today I would run a half marathon all by myself so I would quit with the mind games, check it off my bucket list and be happy.
But, the weather was crap today.
That killed my original plan to run to my parents house, then 3 miles past it where Sam and the kids would be waiting for me so we could celebrate together.
Wouldn't that have been amazing?
Plan B worked. In Plan B, I use the basement treadmill and run forever. Now, we love our treadmill, but it has two major issues.
1. When you start it up, it smells like a thousand sweaty men who were never properly introduced to deodorant have been using it daily.
2. The timer and the distance tracker don't work correctly. This means you never know how far you are going or how long you have been doing it.
However, this was a $60 steal for us so I can improvise. I am impervious to the stench once I start sweating so that is cool and I have been working on the treadmill a lot and doing semi-scientific experiments to figure out my pace on it. I put it on a nice 2% incline so it is more like running outside, I find the pace that feels closest to how I'm running outside and I turn it up faster than that during stretches and back to that speed so I'm varying my pace like you do when outside. Then, I go off my slow average mile which is an 11 minute mile and I added a few 12 minute miles in there to be safe. 10 to be exact. I have been doing 10-11 minute miles a lot more over the past month, but I didn't want to short myself here. Better to run longer and know I did it than to wonder and be bothered for the next year.
While I ran I did the minute math of how long I needed to run a billion times. I allowed a few brisk walk breaks at certain times (and I factored in the speeds so I would stay at my goal). I watched many episodes of "Grimm" (man, I love that show!) and Sam kept the kids upstairs so I could focus.
I was really worrying about being able to make it. I prayed hard and felt like I needed to accomplish this goal, just so I could prove to myself that I can do it. There were two key moments when I wanted to just be done and nearly stepped off that treadmill. At the first moment, one of the flashing number detail thingys on the screen (distance? Calories? Time? Who knows) flashed 13.1 over and over again. I took it as a sign and kept going. Then, again when I hit 100 minutes of running I wanted to just stop and I looked again and this time it was flashing 26.2 over again. That is a marathon distance and I'm not going there (today) but I knew I was too close to quit so I just kept going.
Finally after 155 minutes (that is 2 hours and 35 minutes, people!) and Sam coming down and checking my math for me one more time just in case... I stepped off the mill. I did it. I was done!
So, there it is. I did it.
1 failed attempt to start running last year due to Mr. Henry decided he wanted to sneak into the family (pretty glad he did)
1 insanely supportive husband
7 months of training
500 (that is my low estimate since I didn't start tracking miles at until a few months ago) miles of training
13.1 miles completed today
That feels amazing. I'm proud of me. This has been hard but so worth it.
I'm getting a sticker. You know, one of those 13.1 stickers. I'm putting it on Angelina Jolie the Minivan. I care deeply about this sticker. Maybe something like this:
I also want a parade. Get on that, people.
Now I'm done.