So, today I was released from Primary Pianist at church. I was called to be... the Relief Society Pianist.
I think I have held every calling there is in Primary at one point or another, and, I can't think of a calling outside of primary (other than a brief stint with a primary calling and a calling involving music at the same time) that I have ever held. For the past 18 years, all I have known is how to work in the Primary. And, I have loved it. Wouldn't have it any other way.
On top of that, I have made it a personal goal to steer clear of grown women, particularly in the Relief Society venue. I don't know if I watched Mean Girls too much, or, if I just have raging PTSD from high school, but, women scare the crap out of me. Children are funny and smart and only bite a little. Women always go for the throat.
So, I'm telling you all that I'm terrified. Abso-freaking-lutely terrified.
I might have turned it down flat if it weren't for the fact that my friend (and one of the more wonderful people I know) wasn't the new Relief Society President. I figured, if she wants me in there, even with knowing how much I love to curse in any social setting, then, the least I can do is do all that I can to help her out. This means, I will play my guts out on that piano. And try not to swear (audibly).
I have no idea how to adult in this setting.
So, I'm going to try to find my way. I'm pretty sure it will be hard for me not to shrink in to a Kimber turtle shell so I can hide.
There is a decent chance I won't be good at this. But, I guess it is time to find out. My friend believes in me, so that means something.
Feel free to pray for me (and for those women who have to watch me attempt something I have never successfully done).
And, if you see me crying in a corner while the faint strains of "Jesus Wants me for a Sunbeam" play in the primary room next door, just remind me that it is okay. Those kids are fine and even though I already miss them to the point of tears, they are going to be okay and I'm going to be okay.
Okay. Drying my face and getting ready to do something new.