You guys, I suck at adulting around grown women in a church setting.
Adulting, I can handle. I can even be the adultiest adult in a square mile when pressed.
Adulting with grown ass women, also in my skill set. Give me a hammer and the use of all the swears and I can do anything. I'm not sure what I need the hammer for, but, it gives me a qualified look.
Adulting with men... please. Don't be stupid.
Adulting at church... tricky. Requires snacks and knowledge that I have a beverage at home that will be frosty and happy to see me.
Adulting around men at church is not the worst. They underestimate me, I pull out the sass, it's all good.
Adulting around women at church though? Holy cats. I can't. I just can't. They beat themselves up so much. So. Much. When they aren't beating themselves up, they are setting another woman up to fail with the, "I may suck at this, but I rock at this and everyone else should too."
Then, there is me. I'm in the corner, cross stitching, and trying to hardly talk at all so I don't ruffle all the feather. But, I'm dying. Dying. I have yet to hear a woman in Relief Society not put herself down at least once in her lesson. I'm not talking about sharing a moment of struggle, but a put down. An, "I suck because" moment.
We're fine where we are.
We aren't perfect and we won't be because I don't even believe in the word perfect anymore. I don't even believe Jesus was perfect because, you guys, he didn't even have a Pinterest account! (Before you wig, I do believe he was sinless and flawless. But, our current use of the word perfect... nope. Not the word to describe him at all.)
At this point, I'm trying to just focus on my cross stitch and being quiet.
I'm not sure how to be true to my theme for the year here. I know everyone in Relief Society in my ward is awesome and I think it is probably the best R.S. I could go to, but, I just don't relate and I feel sad that I don't and a little stabby.
So, I'm flunking.
I'm going to keep trying though.
Until I run out of embroidery floss.