Thursday, May 12, 2016

A Letter to Future Me

Dear Kimber,

Hey girl.
So, things are rough right now, huh? That's why Future You is here reading this.
Dude, I'm sorry about that. It is lame. Super lame. People/things/the situation/Tom Hanks suck.
If I could, I'd punch someone for you, but, I'm Past You, so, that won't work.

So, I'm going to tell you a story instead. Something to remind you that you are going to make it through this.

Last week your grandpa died and you found out through a text. Remember how you cried about that? Ooh, you are crying right now all over again, aren't you? Past you is crying again right now, so, knock it off.
 Professionally, you are getting your behind handed to you. Being the new interviewer on the block is rough. No one is accepting you, but they are all eager to criticize your work, your skill, your ability. Most of them haven't even worked with you, so it is really confusing and discouraging. Everyone wants you to be someone you aren't. You are giving it your all, but, you are still so new to this and you just need a little time and support and you think you could be amazing. If only people would give you a hand so you could show them what you can do.
You are about to lose your favorite hobby. You've been crying over that too. But, you need to step away from the toxic people before it overtakes you. They say one thing, then act in the opposite way. Those people always do a little damage to your heart, and you really can't keep trying to put a band-aid over that hurt. But, in order to protect yourself, you are going to lose something very special to you, and it sucks.
There is more. So much more going on. Past You is hating that lump in your throat that won't go away. This is a really painful, embarrassing, disappointing time for you.
But, here is the deal.
You've got this.
You are going to hurt for a minute or two. Maybe ten.
But, then you are going to pick yourself up and find that toughness that keeps you moving, and you are going to handle this. You are going to accept that things hurt right now and you will have to work through all those feelings you have. You are going to have to accept that people are not kind, even when they are supposed to be the ones who care the most. You can do that.
You are going to put one foot in front of the other and remind yourself that people are cruel when they are hurting the most. You are going to forgive them and protect your tender heart at the same time. You are going to learn from this. You'll learn to be stronger and you will learn to be kinder.
You are going to get better.
You have been through worse and you came out in one piece.
So, whatever is going on with Future You right now, I promise, you are going to be okay.
I'm here for you.

Past You

I put these pictures here to remind you of how beautiful it was the day of grandpa's funeral. Remember this run? Remember how you sang at the funeral and you did great? Remember how you handled everything like a boss and you didn't cry until you finished your song and you told the people you needed to say it to that you loved them? It was a really hard day and you did great and it was beautiful. Focus on the beauty in the pain.

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