Sentences I Never Thought I Would Say...

until I became a mom. Of boys.

Holy crap.

Boys are totally nuts. I have sisters and I thought we were crazy, but we were totally not. Girls fight and maybe slap fight a bit. Boys punch and bite and kick and then try to pee on each other. So crazy.

I decided I need to prove to my kids one day that they sent me to the loony bin so here is where I shall document all the sentences I've had to say over the years.

"Don't cross the streams, just like Ghostbuster." (This was in regards to the oldest boys decided their unauthorized and surely illegal in our house pee contests should move up a level in weirdness and they would try to make their pee hit each other and see who got splattered on. Awesome.)

"Who left pee in a cup in the middle of the doorway!"

"We don't pee in buckets in the basement!" (Notice a theme here?)

"No rappelling off the garage roof!" (Nevermind the fact that they tied their safety ropes to a brick that was on the ground. Yeah, that was going to work out fantastically.)

"You can't tie that to the baby."
Also
"You can't tie the baby to that."

"Stop hurdling over the baby!"

"Don't trick your brother into eating poop." (Don't ask.)

"You can't punch a bee. Well you can, but I don't see the point."

"Stop climbing across the roof of the Van! No! Don't jump off the top, just climb down carefully!"

"We don't make mustard gas in the toilet. Please don't do that again."

"No, I will not turn your corpse into a Halloween decoration when you die."

1 comment: